I LOVE seeing signs like this. It’s easy to be wrapped up in what to “buy” people for Christmas, never forget the importance of giving good, through acts of kindness. That is the good that keeps on giving!!
You can choose to stare at the same page or you can choose to turn the page. You can also choose to start a new book. It is entirely up to you.
If you have been staring at the same page forever then you might not have noticed that there's more pages to your book. That would be a shame.
The best thing I ever did was turn the page and you can too!
Thank you to everyone who downloaded, ordered, shared and wrote a review for my book this week.
My book, “When She Stopped Asking Why: A Mother’s Journey Through Teen Substance Abuse and the Loving Path to Finding her Clarity, Courage and Purpose” reached #1 on Amazon’s Best Seller List in 5 different categories!! Substance Abuse Drug Dependency Teen Health Children’s Substance Abuse Abuse and Addiction Recovery
It was also listed in the “Movers and Shakers” on Amazon and was named a Hot New Release in several categories.
In the difficult years of our story I turned to books to learn how to better handle our situation. One of my go to books and authors was Gabor Mate. I can’t tell you the feeling to see my book next to his on Amazon...there are no words.
It’s been a lot to absorb this week. I want to thank everyone for you support and encouragement as I felt incredibly vulnerable as I barred my soul in those pages.
I am especially grateful for the new people who reached out to say thank you for being a voice for the families affected by teen substance abuse. It’s truly time.
Remember shame cannot survive when we speak, and it’s time we speak up, show up, share and own our stories. It’s time to kick shame to the curb!! Thank you
#tbt ~ A lot can change in one year.
Sometimes we can get so caught up in where we are at, what we have or haven’t accomplished and comparing our “success” with others.
In those moments it’s important to look back 6 - 12 months and see what has changed.
12 months ago I was on the MoMondays stage for the 3rd time, still feeling a ton of nerves when I shared my story.
At that time a book was just an idea, a notebook full of thoughts, feelings and stories. I had no idea HOW it would come together or HOW I would find the courage to share my story in print?
Truthfully the HOW wasn’t important.
Fast forward to today, and I’m sitting in so much gratitude for the actual release of my book and the messages I’ve received from people saying, “that’s my story and I’ve never told anyone.” The moral of the message....remember to take a global picture of how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Keep moving toward your goals and let go of the HOW. Your actions and belief will take you there.
As I prep for my book release tomorrow I am feeling a ton of emotions. I’ve learned over the years that when I feel anxious, stress or fear, that I can change the emotions by shifting into gratitude. It completely changes the perspective.
Tonight I felt it was timely that I share an excerpt from my book that is dedicated to my tribe. I promise that I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. I am very blessed “Who is in my tribe is who is meant to be in that tribe. It’s that simple. To this day, that is one of my top gratitudes every single day. This tribe of superstars are the friends that keep me anchored and give me strength, spirit and hope again. They pour their belief into me when I need it and I borrow their strength and belief when mine is low. They remind me of the importance of having fun in life, because fun was on the back burner for so many years. I am forever grateful for my tribe.
My tribe became a massive part of my personal growth. I wasted so much energy being angry about who was and who wasn't there, because I felt so alone. The anger piece took a long time to work through. I finally learned that my thoughts and feelings were my choice and if I didn't like them, I could choose different thoughts and feelings. It may sound silly, but it truly became that simple. If I really peeled it back and dissected the feelings, it was more about the sadness that our family went through and what we lost.
My tribe reminds me to stay in the present. They are a critical part of my strength, my main anchor. Most days my tribe might be a handful of people and that is plenty. They are truly a massive reason as to why I am still standing today.
In the past when I would reach out to a friend to talk, it became a session to complain and not truly looking for a solution. This situation was different. In a time of crisis, it’s important to reach out to others who are a sounding board, friends who can help to ground you when you're stuck and overwhelmed. In those critical moments, experiences that I couldn't do justice to describe, I needed friends who would remind me to slow down, stay in the present and stop the spiral. Cont’d
***SHAME ONLY GROWS WHEN YOU FEED IT
Everyone has felt shame or experienced shame on some level. For some people it’s an inconvenience and for some it’s a debilitating vice grip.
I recently read a quote from Brene Brown that said, “Where we struggle with perfectionism is where we struggle with shame”
As a past recovering perfectionist i can relate all too well. I fought the shame cycle when we dealt with teen substance abuse in our home. I won’t blame the shame on my kids. It was my shame for being a mother who couldn’t fix what was going on in her family.
I had this ridiculous mindset and belief that I was responsible for everything that happened in our household and if anything was wrong “of course” it was my job to fix it.
So basically I told myself I am responsible for everything good or bad and my personal value was determined by being able to fix anything and everything.
Seems reasonable right?
One problem is that I know I’m not alone in this thinking. How many moms can or will say they’ve felt this way before? ✋️✋️✋️ Since I couldn’t meet my expectations, I felt like a failure and the only solution I had left was to hide. All that did was FEED my shame and keep the cycle going. Shame loves secrecy and closed doors. Shame loves hiding, blame and embarrassment. Shame loves it when we stop talking and isolate ourselves from the world. Shame loves judgement, guilt and pain. It all keeps shame alive and growing.
Shame doesn’t like words, it doesn’t like sharing and it doesn’t like us speaking up.
That’s too bad for shame because I’m here to speak up, show up and help others to do the same.
If we want to change the shame cycle and the emphasis we place on shame, we have to speak, talk and share our stories.
That is how we can create a shift in our lives and learn to let go of our shame, and anything else that doesn’t serve us. One word and one sentence at a time. Imagine that ripple effect and the feeling of freedom that is possible?
Who else is ready to speak up and push shame to the curb? I know I am! .
Thinking of you today Grandma as you celebrate your birthday in heaven with Grandpa and Uncle Don. I know you've been with me many times throughout this past year and I am so grateful for that. My courage and my voice are definitely being channeled by you and the life you lived.
We all know that you're smiling down on us and every time I see a picture of or a real dove I just smile.
Thank you for watching out over us xoxo #love#gratitude#family#gratefulforourtimewithyou#happybirthdayangel#weloveyou#grandma
I have a big week ahead and a lot of things to finish. As soon as I started to feel scattered in my thoughts and unable to focus I decided it was either time for a nap or a purge. When I’m in the mood to purge and not attached to anything, it’s amazing how fast the closets can clear out!! It feels great to create space for new energy....and maybe some new clothes? . Of course someone would have to shop for me since I don’t typically like shopping! .
Have you found your own personal fingerprint?
We each have one.
The fingerprint that is yours and no one else's.
The fingerprint that is your calling, that lights you up, fills your soul, that allows you to pay it forward to help and impact others?
You don't have to look hard to find it.
In fact all you have to do is listen.
Listen to your soul, when it lights up, when you love what you're doing and your light shines. You just know.
Get quiet to listen, and then listen with no expectations, no criticisms and no judgement.
When you see it, feel it and know that you've found it, you will also find your confidence to stay in action and follow that calling. As you follow that calling to serve and support others, the universe will open the doors to show you that you're on the right track.
STOP following someone else's fingerprint. It's not yours to use or follow. You have your own. You simply have to be willing to listen.
You never know the weight of what you’re carrying until you let it go.
If you’ve carried something for a long time, and nothing seems to be changing, maybe it’s time to let it go. It truly isn’t as hard as what we make it out to be.
Be clear that you are carrying what is yours to carry. If it’s not, let it go!!