Amy, 29, Ireland “I’d like to lie here and tell you that one morning I just woke up and my mental health was sprained, that up until this point in my life everything was fantastic. No childhood trauma, accident, illness, a loving stable and caring family albeit most of this is entirely correct, unfortunately this is not the case. My mental health has been on a steady decline since my early adolescence. Anxiety began to ever so slowly crawl its way into my life until it became my greatest ally, practically unbeknownst to myself. A dull, tightening sensation would form in my stomach. I knew it didn’t feel right but somehow and being completely honest, I ignored it until it became my norm. Everyone feels like this I would reassure myself with, you just get on with it, that’s life! I became anxious in regards to every aspect of my life but from the outside to everyone else I appeared calm, chilled and at ease. I kept everything, and I mean everything, inside, all my feelings and emotions suppressed. I felt as though I were a pressure cooker about to explode. I can remember sitting on my bedroom floor and crying inconsolably with my whole body, physically shaking. I wouldn’t even know what I was crying about but looking back, I can see that this was my way of releasing all of the suppressed feelings. Trying to be present on a daily basis was excruciating, I had become an athletic at believing my mind and the stories it would conjure up for me, that I was no good, useless, ugly, stupid, simply not good enough. Depression soon followed. I had anxiety to my left and depression to me right and like the way the song goes there I was stuck in the middle.
My depression accelerated intensely, particularly around three years ago when I become diagnosed with a chronic illness, soon after my diagnosis, my interest in life subsided. A grey fog masked my outlook on life, it felt as though I was blinded. I just went through the motions of existing because I most certainly wasn’t living. I could see the worried looks of concern and fear even etched upon my family and friends faces but I didn’t care.." For the full story, go to www.mhstories.com 💖