Queer Hard Femme
Photographer Gender & Media Postgrad ♀
Co-Founder of @galpals_club
I'm Living my Best Life
I've wanted a dressing gown like this for soo long. Feel so glam
Super happy to be exhibiting some of my Femme Portraits at @vfdalston's Femmetopia Festival next week Private view is on Tuesday (22nd) & I'll be there so London pals come & say hey you gotta RSVP though, deets on the poster. Hope to see some of you there xx
My wonderful friend @hansikajethnani wrote this about me last year & I keep it in the back of my diary as a reminder when I'm feeling low it's really hard for me to believe in myself. To believe that I'm good enough, smart enough etc. Even when all the evidence points to the contrary. I constantly doubt myself and my abilities and it's so draining. So many of my issues come back to a lack of confidence & unrealistic standards I set for myself. I wasn't even intending to use my accommodated assessment/extra time I have for my disability because I was like oh I don't need it, because I don't even really see myself as having a disability/feel somehow like I'm not deserving of it? Because I'm not 'that' disabled, or in my mind I'm not disabled enough, or worthy of the extra time. Every week I talk to my mentor about how I'm feeling & every week she's like you're doing great, you just need to believe in yourself, and make time for you, and every week I do the same thing. It's draining. I'm drained. I really want a holiday, but I think what I really want is a holiday from myself, my mind, my thoughts. I guess I'm just tired. Anyway forever grateful for friends who are my cheerleaders (basically everyone I used to work with was the best at this, the sweeteet, nicest bunch) & @xz__dice who's my biggest cheerleader, and is much better at recognising my accomplishments than I am. #deepchat
yesterday was so lovely. It was so nice to finally have a day off. Trying to write 1000 words as quickly as possible this morning in the hope I can go enjoy part of my day outside whilst it's still hot & sunny ('cos you know in the UK this weather isn't going to last)
Happy Sunday. Took this on Friday so it only took me 2 days to debate over whether this was acceptable to upload to a public forum (it's probably not, but I don't really care, should I be more concerned? I forget who follows me on here but I did block all family members lol). Anyway today is my first day off in 8 days & it's 20 degrees & I'm excited to go have some fun in the sun
Femme as Fuck since day
Doing lots of reading on femme recently (what's new?) & reflecting on my own femme-ness. Ever since I can remember I've loved dressing girly/feminine. When I was a baby I would wear my older brother's hand me downs, and my mum specifically dressed me in a lot of boys clothing because well we were poor, but also she said she always hated how in Spanish culture little girls would wear big frilly dresses they could hardly move in and weren't allowed to get dirty. She wanted me to be able to move and run around. But at soon as I could talk all I wanted to wear was pink frilly dresses, tutu's, leopard print, lace black dresses and would constantly dress up in my mum's clothes lol. Of course I would have been taught by society that this is how girls should be, but for me femininity has always felt natural and right femininity isn't about gender anyway. Anyone who wants to express femininity should be free to do so also PSA femme is a queer identity, don't use it if you're straight and cis, thank u!
Recent Reads I've always loved reading, when I was a kid I used to looove going to the library with my mum. I'd get so excited that I'd try to read all the books I'd taken out as soon as I got home & then my mum would be annoyed because she didn't have time to take me until like the next week lol. If anyone has Goodreads you should follow me on there I update what I'm reading a lot more often & sometimes share my thoughts about what I've read too.
My love Last night was amazing. So so fun. I'm so proud of our lil night I love getting to work on something as special as Gal Pals with my best friend my irl Gal Pal
something that sometimes cheers me up when I'm feeling really shit is to get dressed up Especially in fun things like this pink jacket which it's finally warm enough for me to wear again and these sparkly sunglasses and metallic purple heart shaped earrings
feeling really overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do over the next 6 weeks. It's literally all I'm going to be doing, the only reprieve will be Gal Pals on Friday, and I've given myself off one day a week otherwise I would just not be able to function but tbh I really just don't want to do it. I'd just like a holiday please