This pic was taken in february 2017. I was in prepping to compete in bikini.
Why? Because i tought that would make me happy.
The truth is, i wasn't happy with myself at any point during the process.
I wanted to lose fat because i felt uncomfortable at 160lbs when i started prep.
Little did i know, if i'm not happy with myself overall at 160, i won't be happy at 130 or below either.
I remember seeing this pic or any other progress photo, and i would be picking it apart and point out all my flaws.
Well, i failed miserably at this prep. Not only because i felt so lost, but also because i didn't have the right guidance and things didn't go as planned.
No surprise, but.. I gained all the weight back plus more because i quit the diet... I even knew this whole fitness thing is supposed to be a lifestyle, not a temporary diet.
But what's done is done.
After over a year of struggles i am ready for a new chapter
I remember that after the prep, when summer came, i didn't even want to wear shorts to the gym.
And it was HOT in the gym during summer! I wore long leggings all summer long.
Right now the weather is getting warmer again and i could care less about what i wear to work out in now. If i want to wear shorts, i am going to wear shorts. I wear what is comfortable.
I am accepting myself now.
I want to lose fat again, but for different reasons. I feel ready to do it. I feel happy and confident.
This time i want to do it because:
- i love myself enough to make positive changes in life
- i want to feel energized and healthy
- lowering bf% is not a bad thing, it has some health benefits if it's a tad bit lower and right in the athletic/healthy/normal range
- it's not for a competition but for myself
- i want to set a good, healthy example for my clients